Grandy and Nan

So today was a rough, rough day for me, but it ended pretty damn well. My grandy had to have heart surgery, I got myself so worked up I made myself pretty sick. I already have the flu and nerves just made me sick all day yesterday and today.I am very lucky though and have been blessed with wonderful supportive friends. And my grandy he's badass, I should know better than to count him out too soon.
So I thought today's blog would be a celebration of some of the best moments of Grandy and Nan, you see most people have conventional grandparents - not me. And I wouldn't change it for the world.

The Snowman

A little while ago we had some deeeeep snow, so deep in fact that it made getting in to work impossible and we got a snow day - always an exciting prospect when you're a grownup.
I remember my sister and me went out for a walk in the deep snow, we took pictures, had snowball fights, general snow based merriment. Later that night, mum phoned nan to make sure that she and grandy were ok at home, that they didn't need anything, etc, when nan told the following story.
In the spirit of snow based frivolities nan decided to go in to her back garden and build a snowman, she didn't have any winter gloves so she was wearing her bright yellow washing up gloves and she built her snowman whilst my grandad watched from the warmth of indoors. When she was done she went searching for a carrot for the snowman's nose, when she got to her fridge she realised that she didn't have any, all she had was tinned carrots. So she used a tiny limp tinned carrot for a nose. But what to do for eyes? I hear you cry.
As my nan looked for inspiration my grandad pipes up "Use dog turds!" Perhaps the most sensible advice ever uttered... What makes it worse was that my nan did. Yes that's right, the snowman with his limp carrot nose had dog turds for eyes. Looks like it'll be an chavtastic Christmas...

What have I ever done for you?!

My nan and grandy argue, kind of all the time. The funny thing is they obviously love each other, they just bitch and moan all the time, sometimes it drives you insane, and sometimes it's utterly, utterly hilarious, this argument is one of those times.
My grandy and nan were arguing about something petty, and nan listed all of the things that she had ever done for Grandy - those big romantic gestures, the deep emotional stuff etc real compelling stuff when my grandad looks at her, in full earnest anger...
"What have I ever done for you? What have I ever done for you? I've bloody kept you in t-shirts!"
Best. Line. Ever.
My nan looked at him dumbfounded and walked away, she later told us that she was holding back laughter, she had gone to her wardrobe and looked inside at all of the many, many t-shirts grandy had bought her over the years and she couldn't fault him, he had indeed bought her a lot of t-shirts...

Dropping the C-bomb

My grandad used to be in the Navy. He has travelled the world, had a woman in every port, and cursed up a storm. That being said he's a true Italian Gentleman and won't curse in front of a lady and HATES it when women swear especially when the C-bomb is dropped.
During another one of their little arguments, I remember this vividly, I'm sitting on the sofa, eating some treat that nan has lavished upon me in true nan style and nan is following grandy around chanting the c-bomb, and every single time grandy flinches as if he's been slapped. It was one of the funniest things I had ever seen but Grandy was getting cheesed and I didn't want to annoy him more so I just put my head down and snorted in to my cake crumbs.

Pole Dancing Pensioner

My nan is outrageous, I am almost one hundred percent positive it is where I get it from. My nan will always make inappropriate jokes and have fun, and I think it is awesome. The other day we were on a bus and she gets off halfway during my journey home, as we approach her stop she kisses me on the cheek, presses the bell and starts to make her way down the aisle, as she gets to the bit in the front where people can stand, she's holding the pole, the bus breaks suddenly and she pitches forward, catches herself and swings around the pole like a geriatric stripper (if she knew I'd used the term geriatric she would punch me, no word of a lie) She then bellows "woohoo, sorry driver, fancied trying my hand a pole dancing" and continues to gyrate around the pole for a moment. I am killing myself laughing at this point whilst the rest of the silver surfers stare at her in stony faced silence.