Humiliation my Faithful Friend

Well heck, I seem to have been away for an awful long time, It's 'cause I had to go without Internet for 2 weeks whilst I was away training, busy, busy times.
I got home to the sad
news that my dog had to be put to sleep, she was 14 and a half years old, she was a sweet old thing and I will miss her very much.

I went to the circus last night with my sister, we had THE most fun, it was epic, but that will probably be featured in another blog, I'm going to carry on with the humiliation stories...

I went to New York City with my performing arts group at college, I was 20 years old at the time, which sucked major balls because it meant that I couldn't drink -gah.

I had a great time when I was there and one day we went ice skating in Central Park, I am not a good skater, that is a true story, I fall over when walking, I can not roller skate anymore so strapping a blade to my foot and pushing me onto some ice is perhaps the worst idea ever.

As my friends joyously frolicked on the ice and children hunkered down like midget missiles ready to take out an ankle, I clung onto the sides and perfected a little move I like to call the ice shuffle, and picked up speeds of at least one mile a day.

I got nearly all the way around, after about an hour, and faced a dilemma - a fecking huge gap. The gap was there for the ice flattener machine (technical name) to drive through, now I could either turn around and take another hour to shuffle back or skate on my own through the gap - a daunting prospect.

I decided to be a dare-devil and take my life into my hands and skate that horrifying eight foot gap.

I slowly teetered, lurched, shuffled and tottered my way to the other side, cheering triumphantly, earning looks of wonder from others (possibly at why I was allowed out without someone to look after me) I decided I'd had more than enough fun and didn't want to risk getting cocky and breaking my neck, so I shuffle off the ice and take off my strap-on blades, the minute I walk on my now unsupported ankle, my leg gives way.

I appear to have damaged myself, after limping through New York City, my ankle in agony, my singing teacher took pity on me and allowed me to go with another teacher and student in a cab back to the hotel.

We get to our hotel, and the teacher and student go in, I say I'll follow shortly, I'm just going to get some supplies from the shop opposite.

I lurch across the street with a now agonising limp, buy my supplies and limp pitifully across the road. The rather gorgeous bouncer sees me and rushes down the stairs to heroically help me up the stairs.

He grabs my elbow in his muscular hand and looks down at me in concern "Are you alright?" he asks.

I could have looked at him coquettishly and fluttered my eyelashes and said "Could you help me to my room?"

But no I look at him and mutter "I hurt myself."

Needless to say he gave me a look to say 'this chick is a little simple' helped me up the stairs and dropped my arm and turned his back on me.

Simpleton that I am ruined my own chances once more. Marvellous.

Humiliation my Faithful Friend

Embarrassing, yet true. Day One.

Hello everyone, wow, it's been a week already, and so it's time for a topic change, I was going to dates from heaven and then realised, it's not that funny, it's not that interesting and there's not that many of them. However I constantly seem to make a fool of myself, so here are some of the most embarrassing things to happen to me. Please feel free to share your embarrassing stories...

I'm 16 years old, and I'm in my final year of school. I have a best friend who I occasionally hang out with at school and I have 2 close female friends who I spend most of my time with.

I'm the first to admit that we're a bit tarty, we're trying to impress the boys, every lunchtime they play football, and every lunchtime, we sunbathe as we watch them. Our school skirts rolled at the waist to become micro mini skirts, wearing skimpy summer shirts underneath our school uniform, which we remove at lunch time, all in an effort to impress the boys.

There's one boy in particular that I'm pining after and it's the world's worst kept secret, and I spend most of my lunch times staring at him longingly.

One lunch time, we're sitting there as usual when one of my friends goes to talk to a group of the boys, they're all talking closely when suddenly, they grab her and pick her up, I'm not sure what they were trying to do really, but she calls me to help, which I do, because if they're gonna start wrestling I'm definitely joining in, that's my passion in life, not theirs. I manage to get my friend free and we sling our arms around each other and walk off the pitch laughing.

We're standing at the side of the pitch now and she turns to me.

"Thank you for that!" She laughs and I join in.

"You're welcome." I smile.

"I'm really sorry." She says and I look at her baffled.

"For what?" I ask, I don't have to wait long for my answer, whilst we'd been talking one of the boys, Billy, had crawled on his hands and knees behind me, and Jenn smiled before shoving me.

The backs of my legs caught Billy and I went flying over his back and onto mine, my legs flailing in the air and my underwear on show for the whole world to see, especially the boys playing football.

And it wasn't sexy underwear, oh no, it was the washday granny pants! You know the ones, your biggest, least sexy pair of pants because all the others are in the wash.

I shot to my feet, but it was too late, the entire football team had seen and they stood cheering. I had to spend the rest of the day listening to a chorus of 'Nice pants.' Worst. Friend. Ever.