Well heck, I seem to have been away for an awful long time, It's 'cause I had to go without Internet for 2 weeks whilst I was away training, busy, busy times.
I got home to the sad
news that my dog had to be put to sleep, she was 14 and a half years old, she was a sweet old thing and I will miss her very much.
I went to the circus last night with my sister, we had THE most fun, it was epic, but that will probably be featured in another blog, I'm going to carry on with the humiliation stories...
I went to New York City with my performing arts group at college, I was 20 years old at the time, which sucked major balls because it meant that I couldn't drink -gah.
I had a great time when I was there and one day we went ice skating in Central Park, I am not a good skater, that is a true story, I fall over when walking, I can not roller skate anymore so strapping a blade to my foot and pushing me onto some ice is perhaps the worst idea ever.
As my friends joyously frolicked on the ice and children hunkered down like midget missiles ready to take out an ankle, I clung onto the sides and perfected a little move I like to call the ice shuffle, and picked up speeds of at least one mile a day.
I got nearly all the way around, after about an hour, and faced a dilemma - a fecking huge gap. The gap was there for the ice flattener machine (technical name) to drive through, now I could either turn around and take another hour to shuffle back or skate on my own through the gap - a daunting prospect.
I decided to be a dare-devil and take my life into my hands and skate that horrifying eight foot gap.
I slowly teetered, lurched, shuffled and tottered my way to the other side, cheering triumphantly, earning looks of wonder from others (possibly at why I was allowed out without someone to look after me) I decided I'd had more than enough fun and didn't want to risk getting cocky and breaking my neck, so I shuffle off the ice and take off my strap-on blades, the minute I walk on my now unsupported ankle, my leg gives way.
I appear to have damaged myself, after limping through New York City, my ankle in agony, my singing teacher took pity on me and allowed me to go with another teacher and student in a cab back to the hotel.
We get to our hotel, and the teacher and student go in, I say I'll follow shortly, I'm just going to get some supplies from the shop opposite.
I lurch across the street with a now agonising limp, buy my supplies and limp pitifully across the road. The rather gorgeous bouncer sees me and rushes down the stairs to heroically help me up the stairs.
He grabs my elbow in his muscular hand and looks down at me in concern "Are you alright?" he asks.
I could have looked at him coquettishly and fluttered my eyelashes and said "Could you help me to my room?"
But no I look at him and mutter "I hurt myself."
Needless to say he gave me a look to say 'this chick is a little simple' helped me up the stairs and dropped my arm and turned his back on me.
Simpleton that I am ruined my own chances once more. Marvellous.
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