Shopping for Peter...

As I mentioned already it was my dad's birthday yesterday, but the shopping for his presents was where the real story begins.
My sister and I took to the town to find him a present, my dad is the most impossible man in the world to buy for, possibly not if i had unlimited funds, then I'd send him off to vegas, buy him a car etc. But I don't have unlimited funds, and he's a pain in the arse to buy for.

My sister and I went from shop to shop, discarding item after item and laughing at some of the more inappropriate choices.

The first place we buy our presents is Hawkings Bizarre because they sell the best joke presents, dad has the same sense of humor as me, so the novelty gifts are easy to buy.

I start off with novelty joke toilet paper, that cracks me up (excuse the pun) and I know that dad will appreciate it.

I also get him some grumpy old git mints - charming aren't I?

So then we're browsing around and I'm looking at the innappropriate 'adult' themed gifts and my sister is standing beside me looking like she wants the ground to swallow her up, she's very innocent, she doesn't swear, isn't vulgar, you see I am enough of those things for the both of us.

I see a male and female blow up doll, they are bath pillows basically with arms, the one for women is a blow up doll called 'soapy Steve' my dad's name is Steve, so naturally I decide to get him that one.

Now to me, this is comedy gold, I'm chuckling away with my naughty Homer Simpson-esque giggle and my sister is rolling her eyes good naturedly at me.

"Should I definately get him this, or should I get him the girlie one?" I ask my sister picking up the girlie blow up doll.

"Oh look! She has a cup holder though!" I exclaim loudly gesturing to the hole in her small blow up hand.

My innocent little sister, who is not vulgar, nor crass looks at me with a look akin to pity and says quietly "That's not a cup holder."

I look at her.

"What is it then?" I ask with wide-eyed innocence before the ugly truth dawns and my laugh builds from somewhere near my toes and then bellows out in shocked hilarity.

My sister and I are swept away on the tide of pure comedy gold and I couldn't get myself together, I had tears streaming down my face, I started wheezing loudly, people started looking at us but we were too far gone to calm down.

I will always remember fondly the day that my sister had to clear up what a blow up toy was intended for...